What is Love? Who am I? Two questions one answer!!
Love has nothing to do with what you are expecting to get — only with what you are expecting to give — which is everything.
Whenever we ask, what is love? It’s usually because we’re unsure if a certain special someone really loves us, or because a certain special someone just accused us of not really loving them.
When we are truly engaged in giving and receiving love, we don’t ponder such philosophical questions. It’s only when something is lacking that we begin to analyze and contemplate what that thing actually is.
The two scenarios that usually cause us to contemplate “What is love?” Either we wonder, “Am I loved?” or we ask, “Do I love? If we understand how to recognize when we are being loved, we can also learn to recognize our love for another.
When we are loved, we tend to feel it intuitively in our guts. But how does it work? Is there an extrasensory perception in the heart that is able to read the feelings in another person’s heart?
In fact, it’s really not that ethereal or supernatural. On the contrary, it’s pretty practical and down-to-earth. Our hearts take cues from our senses. So, if we see a loving smile, hear loving words, or feel a loving touch, the brain processes this information and concludes, “Hey, we are being loved right now!”
In short, when we are loved, there is tangible proof. It’s not an abstract thought or feeling, it’s concrete and evidenced.
This is a question that goes directly to the root of your values, beliefs, doubts, sense of reality and even the external perceptions imposed upon you by others, whether or not true. When asking yourself this question, try the following:
- Make a list of the traits, talents, skills and thoughts that you feel make up the person you are right now. Add on to your positivity and delete your negativities.
- Ensure that you have a reasonable amount of both virtues and vices––everyone has at least eight good traits and eight less desirable ones. Don’t beat yourself up––it’s a whole bundle and you get to work on the parts you don’t like. What matters is recognition at this point, acknowledging which traits you feel let you down in some way and finding good traits that you have probably never even thought about.
- Take your time answering this question. It isn’t likely to be something you’ll answer over a cup of coffee. Start the ball rolling by giving yourself this question as a task for at least the next week, maybe even longer. Recall it when going about your daily duties. Then set a time to come back to writing down all the things you’ve decided make up who you are. Take the time to appreciate yourself. Find out what makes you unique and different from everyone else.
If you learn to really sit with loneliness and embrace it for the gift that it is…an opportunity to get to know YOU, to learn how strong you really are, to depend on no one but YOU for your happiness…you will realize that a little loneliness goes a LONG way in creating a richer, deeper, more vibrant and colorful YOU.
Loving yourself is an important part of enjoying and getting the most out of your life. It’s also crucial for getting and maintaining satisfying relationships with others. Loving yourself is mainly having self-respect, which is the only dependable way to create love in your own life. To be able to be loved, you must love and respect yourself as much as you do other.
- Remind yourself that you are worth loving. Many people tend to get insecure about themselves, when in all reality we are all human beings! Always believe in yourself, and be the confident, optimistic you.
- Remember that you are human, because sometimes we feel like outcasts, but that is just something that makes you unique, and to be human is to be imperfect.
- Do what you enjoy. Go out somewhere, perhaps, with someone. Or stay at home, prepare yourself a nice meal, and settle down with a good book in front of a cozy fire, a fan, or air conditioner.
- Practice Mitta meditation. It will help you love yourself and others more.
- Never downgrade yourself, you are perfect. There is only one you in this world so love yourself – you are beautiful!
- Don’t sit there wishing you were someone else. You never know how many people wish they were you.